The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
