I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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