You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
