Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
