i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
