We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
