No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
