Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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