didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
