I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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