never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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