At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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