just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
