I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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