I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
