Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
