The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
