i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
