He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize