When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
