Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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