party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
