I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
