I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
