Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
