Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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