life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I did not marry a roomba.
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