well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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