I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize