wat bout pragnant strippers??
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
