so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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