And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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