Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
