no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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