His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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