you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
