So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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