she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
