I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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