Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
