Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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