Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
last night I used snow as a chaser
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
