Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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