we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
