Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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