Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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