i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
