My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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