For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
