Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
