And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
