The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
