you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize