I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
