I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
