there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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